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poop on the pig's balls

CARD GAME: How to Play “Poop On the Pig’s Balls”

Posted on January 11, 2021January 19, 2023 by Peter

There are hundreds, may even thousands, of card games in existence. Everyone has their favorite: poker, blackjack, solitaire, Egyptian rat screw; take your pick. My favorite card game is called “Poop On the Pig’s Balls,” and I invented it three hours ago.

Here’s how you play:

What You Need

One standard 52-card deck of playing cards.

Number of Players

2–4 (or more)

Game Play

Players take turns in any order they choose. The first player shuffles the deck, then begins dealing cards, face up, in a line on the table in front of them. The cards can be organized in any way on the table (rows and columns of any length or height, a single straight line, etc.) according to their preference, as long as each card clearly follows the last in the order dealt.

When the player deals two cards in a row of the same suit or equivalent value, they must set those cards aside, and say “These are the pig’s balls.” The next card is dealt on top of the two “pig’s balls,” and the player must say, “This is the poop on the pig’s balls.” The player then must continue dealing to the main collection.

If the player deals two cards in a row of the same suit or equivalent value, and does not say “These are the pig’s balls” before dealing the next card, they discard those cards, and forfeit the value of the last “poop on the pigs balls” card.

When the player has dealt the entire deck in this fashion, they tally the value of the “poop on the pig’s balls” cards. This is their score for the round.

They then pass the deck on to the next player, who shuffles the deck and repeats the process. The round is complete when each player has had a turn. The player with the highest score wins the round.

Play any number of rounds; the player with the highest total score wins the game.

There you have it!

Playing cards
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